These are not interesting stories. Not at all. I hate to be an asshole and point this out, but this is completely boring compared to what we used to get up to. I know this sounds terrible but I'd be happy to elaborate when I have more time.
These are real grocery stories, happy to elaborate on each: Saturday Beer Run -- Turkey Baster Termination -- Best Ever Shopping List -- Ain't Finna Hang No Sign -- Highwire Striptease -- Yogurt Wars -- Egg Booby Traps -- Ignore The Bite Marks -- Helium Gregorian Chant -- Shrinkwrap Imprisonment -- Burning Soda -- How To Kill A Customer -- 49 Cent Onion -- Shopping Cart Windshield -- Brothers, Help Me Out Man
To pick one at random, my grocery store was next to a university and we thought ourselves more learned and witty than we were, so we started doing the 'store is closing' announcements in Gregorian Chant. When we could get away with it we would steal a balloon of helium from the floral department and do Gregorian Chant in a chipmunk voice.
You hooked me with the reference to Studs Terkel, a master at elevating the wisdom of everyday people. We need more of that today.
These are not interesting stories. Not at all. I hate to be an asshole and point this out, but this is completely boring compared to what we used to get up to. I know this sounds terrible but I'd be happy to elaborate when I have more time.
These are real grocery stories, happy to elaborate on each: Saturday Beer Run -- Turkey Baster Termination -- Best Ever Shopping List -- Ain't Finna Hang No Sign -- Highwire Striptease -- Yogurt Wars -- Egg Booby Traps -- Ignore The Bite Marks -- Helium Gregorian Chant -- Shrinkwrap Imprisonment -- Burning Soda -- How To Kill A Customer -- 49 Cent Onion -- Shopping Cart Windshield -- Brothers, Help Me Out Man
This is very good. Everyone should know these things!
To pick one at random, my grocery store was next to a university and we thought ourselves more learned and witty than we were, so we started doing the 'store is closing' announcements in Gregorian Chant. When we could get away with it we would steal a balloon of helium from the floral department and do Gregorian Chant in a chipmunk voice.